Killer Bunnies’ Quest

The Killer Bunnies . . . Killer as in, killer cool! That’s what they were known by. That’s what they answered to. That’s who they were.

Well, that’s who they thought they were anyway. To the rest of the bunnies, they were just punks with deadly toys and terrible misfortune.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway, no matter how big of a punk these bunnies may have been, they had one weakness, and everybody knew it. Carrots. They couldn’t get enough! So finally one day, they just devoted their whole life to obtaining carrots. They would raid Farmer Brown’s garden, they would sneak into the produce section of the supermarket, they would even regurgitate carrots just to eat them again! (Although, they admitted, they weren’t nearly as good the second time)

On one such escapade, the Killer Bunnies happened to be sneaking into their local Smith’s Supermarket, when who should step right into their path but the wife of Farmer Brown! Luckily they were sneaking, so nobody saw them, and Mrs. Brown just kept walking. The bunnies proceeded with extra caution from that point on to the produce section. When they got there, they radioed up to the centennial they had left there last time. The conversation went something like this…

~Sssssskch~ Killer one to centennial perch, do you copy? ~Sssssskch~ . . . ~Sssssskch~ Killer one to centennial perch, do you copy?! ~Sssssskch~ . . . ~Sssssskch~ GARTH YOU INCOMPETENT DWEEB! CAN’T YOU STAY AWAKE FOR EVEN TWO HOURS?! THAT’S HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN SINCE WE GOT OUR LAST BATCH! YOU LITTLE – ! ~Sssssskch~ By this time another bunny had slapped “Killer one” and indicated the “shush!” sign. Killer one then realized that he had been yelling quite loud, and many humans walking around had paused for a second to look around to see what that funny sounding squeal was. One lady even shushed her child, and looked around, obviously embarrassed. Killer one indicated that he was sorry, and they proceeded forward with even more caution than before. Then they sent out the Rouge.

The mission of the Rouge was to get in, grab as many carrots as he could handle, then get out. Sneaking of course, so that he couldn’t be seen. The carrots were then stored by the Satchel Master, who always wore three satchels at a time, for maximum carrot storage space (10 per satchel). Then the Rouge went back, and this little playoff continued. On a regular mission, they would have the centennial (who was perched on the very top of the produce section shelves, and acting like an out of place decoration with a chainsaw (because the centennial was also the Weapon Carrier)) radio down to Killer one, (who was always the leader of the escapades) whenever he spotted trouble. A.K.A. A store manager who had been informed that there were rodents scurrying around the produce section by frightened customers. (Obviously these bunnies were seen because they weren’t sneaking) If Killer one ever got this radio call, he would immediately call back all of the gang and retreat into the nearest air vent on the ground. The last person to come was always The Replacement. The Replacement would always replace the centennial at his post each time they went in, so that a fresh centennial would be ready for the next carrot mission. All in all, there were 5 bunnies involved in each operation at a time.

This mission was no different, except that Garth (the current centennial) was slacking in his position. So Killer one had no warning when trouble came rounding the corner and saw the Rouge gathering his carrots. From there the mission went downhill. Killer one yelled to Rouge, who looked and saw the surprised store manager, and bounced as fast as he could to the nearest air vent on the ground.

The Killer Bunnies barely got out of there alive. But they got out nonetheless! Well, all except for Garth that is. Although, the bunnies never considered it a terrible loss.

When they got back to their bunny hole that day, the Satchel Master had 2 bags full of carrots. 20 carrots! This was a successful mission. Little did the bunnies realize though, was that these carrots were no normal carrots! They were magic carrots. (I’m not quite sure how they’re magic. But they were. Trust me)

Anyway, to make a long story short, ever since this mission and finding magic carrots, the Killer Bunnies have never been quite the same. I mean, well, before they all looked just like normal bunnies. But now, well, they all adopted quite different personalities from each other. Oh, and one more thing I forgot to mention as well.

They’re all trying to kill each other over these magic carrots!

It’s all quite absurd if you ask me, but that’s the truth. And ever since then, the bunnies have gotten even more toys and have had even more terrible misfortunes than ever before! It’s all quite hilarious, in a twisted way, actually.

And oh yeah! I forgot to mention where Garth ended up. Well you see, this store manager didn’t see any point in killing him, so he just sold him to a laboratory for research. The scientists in the lab ran a few tests on Garth, then put him back into his cage one day. But the tests that they had run had such an affect on Garth that he turned into something of an ultra killing bunny machine! So later that day, Garth broke free of his confinement,  chewed the scientist who was poking him with needles’ arm off, and ran away and hid in a cave. I’m not quite sure how long he had been there, but soon a bunch of funny looking guys in funny looking outfits with funny sounding accents came across him. Somehow they had heard about Garth, and decided to try to vanquish him. One of the funny looking guys dared to venture close enough to the cave, and, well… Not much was left of any of them.

To this day, the Killer Bunnies still fight each other for the chance to keep the magic carrots.

. . . And Garth still hides in his cave.